I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
