I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
