Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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