She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize