Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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