I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
