yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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