Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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