Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
