There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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