Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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