First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
