and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
