sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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