i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
