I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
