I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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