Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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