My first STD was from a foam party
home. puking in laundry basket.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
