I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
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I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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