and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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