These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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