In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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