I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
