Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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