We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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