how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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