i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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