i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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