Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
