wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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