Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
