if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize