remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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