I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
