he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
