Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
