I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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