the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me