THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving