best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever