Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs

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  (708): Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs http://tfl.nu/pfpw
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (627)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (2079) Bad night (816)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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  (617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li
  Replies (6) Good night (995) Bad night (3845)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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  (330): I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse. http://tfl.nu/kxn7
  Replies (2) Good night (2031) Bad night (881)
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  (661): View more from California

  Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...

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  (661): Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry... http://tfl.nu/rns6
  Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (2331)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1665) Bad night (879)
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  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1590) Bad night (743)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

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  (920): I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon. http://tfl.nu/kbkd
  Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (737)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing

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  (845): You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing http://tfl.nu/q419
  Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (713)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

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  (843): Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors http://tfl.nu/kni1
  Replies (12) Good night (553) Bad night (1655)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high

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  (401): apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high http://tfl.nu/w0gd
  Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (415)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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  (614): hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/9g7z
  Replies (0) Good night (320) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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  (856): Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me. http://tfl.nu/z4xw
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave

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  (305): She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave http://tfl.nu/26uf
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (213)

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