who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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