there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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