no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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