is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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