I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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