your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
