put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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