So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
