i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
