A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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