I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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