how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
40s are totally the cure
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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