Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We need to get me chipped asap
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
