Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
