So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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