OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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