He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
