i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
