I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize