no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
